I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
did i just pee glitter
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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