The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize