I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Quick, to the slutcave!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
