A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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