I think I died a long time ago.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
false alarm. still invincible.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
