I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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