We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
