she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dear god my vagina.
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