Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
