Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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