On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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