also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
