Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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