She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
