is your mom at the bar?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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