You're so nebulous sometimes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I love you. Go after that dick
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