I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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