Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
