we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
