Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
