she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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