I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize