I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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