As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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