so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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