he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
