Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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