Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
