I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Then you guys just all showered together...?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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