are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
