The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
