my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
