uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
