A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize