I hate your face
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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