i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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