my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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