I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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