just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
