we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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