Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i want to swaddle you in tequila
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
