Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
