Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
