I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
