Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you had me at cake vodka
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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