Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
MIDGETS
????
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize