There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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