he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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