no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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