You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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