I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize