I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
