I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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