she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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