What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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