I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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